Psalm 62:5a “My soul, wait thou only upon God”
Wait only on God. This is a hard one for me. I value productivity, activity, and general busyness. My version of waiting is keeping myself very busy working towards whatever I’m waiting on.
God also values doing. He is, after all, The Living Water (i.e. Always Moving). And He also values rest for us.
He made man on the sixth day and gave him the gift of work the very same day. The next day, God rested from creating. To be clear, He wasn’t tired. He didn’t need a break. He set the example for us and in His resting, He created sabbath—for us. (Genesis 1-2, Mark 2:27)
I have struggled to value rest. I love the far off idea of it, but naturally chafe in much rest. I’d rather be doing than resting.
And God is so kind.
I asked to learn to value the things He values. Wow, has He answered!
He is a Perfect Teacher. To be clear, I do not think that God has caused the difficulties of this season. I do believe that in His infinite goodness, our Amazing God, Who never works in just one way or on one level, has chosen to redeem this season of my life. Part of the redeeming of this is that He has made me desperate for rest. I am so exhausted in every part of my being that I finally, truly long for real, lasting rest.
Yet I still find myself trying to drag my sorry carcass to do just one more task, study one ore thing, have one more hard conversation, commit to one more act of service. Somehow, I feel the need to busy my way into rest. I am discontent and uncomfortable with the command to be still and wait.
I value rest as a concept, but I do not know how to grasp it in the midst of all this unfinishedness. I do not know how to just be. I run from more than a short visit with my awkward guest: Silence. I fill the air with noise; good noise, but noise nonetheless. I do not feel at ease trying to take my ease unless is an an ease filled with conversation or activity. I toss and turn at night and have nightmares haunted by my undone tasks. I wake more tired than when I laid down—and further behind.
God invites us to enter His rest (Hebrews 4). Since He is Lord of the Sabbath (Matthew 12:8), is it possible that by being consumed with activity, I’m actually refusing to enter into the fullness of Christ?
This is not a very directive devotional. It is more of a musing; a sharing of my own thoughts and journey.
I wonder if the solution to my unrest—to finding rest—is just to lean into Christ. To relax into the arms of Jesus, not by working harder to do so, but by simply breathing out and resting in His presence. No more striving. Just being. No more asking. Just enjoying Him. Stilled by His heartbeat like an infant against her mother’s chest.
Waiting. Just waiting. Still. Unrushed. Peacefully held in His arms. Just being still and knowing that He is God. (Psalm 46:10)
Under His Wings
Psalm 91:4a “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust:” Isn’t it funny when